Soldier. Ohioan. Tiger. Parody.

Cincinnati, OH
Father- Self-proclaimed large men from the land of ten seas approach Fort Paycor. We prepare to defend our post with determination, yet there is a feeling of momentum building. Our confidence is high, our casualties few. I believe greatness awaits if we do our duty. -Joe
3
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Father- We return to Fort Paycor upon the heels of our glorious triumph. I confess my spirits have not been so high in many a moon. My sidearm has never failed me; I should ask more of it. The coming weeks afford us ample opportunities to exploit our recent success. -Joe
3
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Father- Victory! What a glorious triumph it was. At first, confusion reigned and the men stood bewildered. But then we awoke and I gave a sidearm demonstration that shall inspire songs for generations. Those who scorned us shall soon rue their folly. Give Mother my love. -Joe
6
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Father- The regiment is in good health in B’more, where we engage a flock of Ravens on the morrow. Much is made of these black-feathered fiends. I confess they stir little terror in my breast. Let them caw and flap; I have faced worse in a barnyard. Pray fortune favors us. -Joe
4
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Father- We languish in camp this week. Some men are on leave, others devote themselves to spirited marksmanship contests against unfortunate tree stumps. A few compose songs about our commanding general, whose virtues multiply considerably after a generous ration of whiskey. -Joe
2
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426
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Father- We vanquished the pod of Dolphins; my sidearm was in good working order. It was never as close as the final tally suggests. We seem to take a perverse pleasure in allowing the foe to feel he has a fighting chance. Now we have a week’s respite to replenish our stores. -Joe
6
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Father- These are grievous times in camp. Every fellow who has never commanded so much as a mule now presumes to instruct us in the art of war. We must close ranks. A hard fight is not a lost fight, and gloomy blatherskites have yet to win a battle. Have faith in your son. -Joe
8
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Father- Another defeat; the cries for the relief of our commanding general grow. I must confess, his orders lack spirit and we often appear as men waiting patiently to be beaten. However, my sidearm suffered 2 misfires, and a soldier must answer for his own powder and shot. -Joe
10
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712
13,670
Father- I pondered how a pack of Jaguars might contrive to bring Tigers to heel. Alas, this absurdity awaits us. They are led by a scraggly-haired man, Lawrence, whom I have thrashed time and again. The poor fellow must by now be growing accustomed to his misfortunes. -Joe
8
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Father- We were defeated in what I reckon will not be remembered as our finest three hours. We committed no small number of blunders and received a proper drubbing in a manner we had not anticipated. We shall endeavor to keep our dignity, if possible. A long week is ahead. -Joe
9
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Father- I confess I cannot fathom what manner of creature a “Steeler” is. By their swagger, I take them for a band of blatherskites, mighty in boast but poor in courage. I expect to send the whole lot home humbled, whilst bringing victory to our beloved city. Love to Mother. -Joe
10
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Father- We march next to the confluence of three rivers, where we shall meet the Tin Men in battle. They are led by a cantankerous old veteran on his last legs; his sidearm is no longer in the best of working order. We shall return victorious. Give Mother my fondest love. -Joe
11
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Father- We have delivered the victory at Houston! Allow me a moment for reflection, and give heed to my words: our defense is both cunning and dangerous. It warms my heart beyond measure to tell you how dearly I love them. -Joe
7
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Father- I rec’d your letter regarding my name on a casualty list with a lame back. Please tell Mother I am fine. The Texans deceive themselves to think otherwise. I shall take to the field a day hence and am quite serious when I say any suggestion otherwise is pure rubbish. -Joe
2
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Father- You might find it interesting to learn a peculiar band of Texans awaits us on the morrow. They were unable to stop a herd of buffalo but seem perchance to try and have their way with tigers. We shall see to it that is not the case. Pray good fortune. -Joe
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Father- Now i have a defense. -Joe
8
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Father- I write with the great news of victory! A band of pirates led by a pastry chef assaulted Fort Paycor on this day. We sent them away quite discouraged. Upon the whole the day was most fortunate. I feel more alive than I can recall in recent years. Love to Mother. -Joe
8
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Father- Another fall campaign looms. Anticipation, high. Morale, excellent. Let us do what we must at this place. It’s go time. -Joe
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Father— This is it. Joe
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Father- Yessir. Joe
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