I run @employeetears on Instagram
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Job interviews got a lot less intimidating once I realized they’re just two people professionally bullshitting each other.
They’re pretending it’s a great place to work, and I’m pretending I’ve always dreamed of working there.
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Corporate life is realizing your job requires more emotional regulation than technical skill
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Company: We want employees to take initiative and think outside the box.
Employee: Okay, I have some ideas that could actually improve things, save time, and make us more efficient.
Company: No. Not like that. Just do your job.
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Company: We take all reports of workplace harassment very seriously.
Employee: I’d like to report my manager for harassment.
HR: We’ve spoken with your manager, and they have some concerns about your ability to work well with others.
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One of the most important skills I’ve developed at work is sitting through a meeting, knowing the entire plan is going to be a complete fucking disaster, and resisting the urge to say “I told you so” before it even happens.
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Wait, before everyone had a work email on their phone… did people actually get paid to work 8 hours instead of being mentally employed 24 hours a day?
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Wait, before Zoom and Teams existed… did people just cancel meetings when someone couldn’t make it instead of making everyone join from wherever the fuck they were?
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Wait, before email existed… if your boss wanted to tell you something stupid, did they actually have to get up and walk over to your desk?
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Wait, before laptops existed… did people actually go on vacation without bringing their entire fucking job with them?
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Wait, before cell phones existed… did people just call in sick and then become completely unreachable for the rest of the day?
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You ever work somewhere so long that all your favorite coworkers have quit, management has been replaced three times, and now you’re basically the last surviving cast member of a show nobody watches anymore?
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Whoever said there’s no such thing as a stupid question really needs to come to my workplace for one fucking hour.
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ME: I HOPE I DON'T HAVE TO PUT OUT ANY FIRES TODAY.
AS I WALK INTO THE YOU COULDN'T MAKE THIS SHIT UP FACTORY.
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