To All American Soldiers!
We hope you’ve been informed that #IRAN is the place where Palestinian, Lebanese, Iraqi, and Yemeni fighters have mastered ground combat at a highly professional level!
You’re about to face a true master of ground warfare:
Welcome To IRAN, Habibi!
🔥Operation “Bye Bye Internet” ❌
Welcome to a world without the internet! 📵
We’ve got some seriously THICK and GIRTHY internet cables within our reach in the Strait of Hormuz!
🔴BREAKING | Saudi Defense Minister Khalid bin Salman, Pakistan’s Army Chief Asim Munir, and Turkish Intelligence Chief Ibrahim Kalin arrived in Tehran for emergency talks with IRAN’s top security official.
I advise them to shut down those [US] bases as soon as possible, for they must surely have realized by now that the US’s claims of ensuring security and peace have been nothing but lies.
Imam Sayyid Mojtaba Khamenei
April 10, 2026
Someone in Washington keeps parroting the same lines every single day:
“The Strait of Hormuz is open, and Iran’s Navy has been destroyed!”
We proudly present him with the Award for Best Fantasy of the Year!
Dear people of the region!
During the last war, we told you to fully charge your power banks, as the electricity might be cut off for a while.
This time, however, you won't need power banks—because there's no point in charging a phone without internet access!