Quotes from How to Win Friends & Influence People by Dale Carnegie. 30M+ copies sold.
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First, arouse in the other person an eager want.
He who can do this has the whole world with him.
He who cannot walks a lonely way.
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Principle 24: Talk about your own mistakes before criticizing the other person.
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There’s far more information in a smile than a frown.
That’s why encouragement is a much more effective teaching device than punishment.
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“Begin by emphasizing – and keep on emphasizing – the things on which you agree,” Carnegie wrote.
“Keep emphasizing, if possible, that you are both striving for the same end and that your only difference is one of method and not of purpose.”
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Be empathetic.
Carnegie wrote that “the only way on earth to influence other people is to talk about what they want and show them how to get it.”
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Praise others’ achievements.
“Abilities wither under criticism; they blossom under encouragement,” Carnegie wrote.
Be lavish with praise, but only in a genuine way, he advised.
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Avoid criticizing, condemning, or complaining.
“Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain – and most fools do,” Carnegie wrote.
“But it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.”
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Shaw once remarked: If you teach a man anything, he will never learn.
Shaw was right.
Learning is an active process.
We learn by doing.
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Criticism is futile because it puts a person on the defensive and usually makes him strive to justify himself.
Criticism is dangerous, because it wounds a person’s precious pride, hurts his sense of importance, and arouses resentment.
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Make the other person feel important – and do it sincerely.
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All men have fears, but the brave put down their fears and go forward, sometimes to death, but always to victory!
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Why talk about what we want?
That is childish.
Absurd.
Of course, you are interested in what you want.
You are eternally interested in it.
But no one else is.
The rest of us are just like you: we are interested in what we want.
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Every man I meet is my superior in some way.
In that, I learn of him.
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Everybody in the world is seeking happiness—and there is one sure way to find it.
That is by controlling your thoughts.
Happiness doesn’t depend on outward conditions.
It depends on inner conditions.
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Arouse in the other person an eager want.
He who can do this has the whole world with him. He who cannot walks a lonely way.
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Actions speak louder than words, and a smile says:
"I like you. You make me happy. I am glad to see you.”
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