26 | girl actress, normal comedian
brooklyn
- Tweets 26,958
- Following 1,441
- Followers 142,259
- Likes 185,266
meg “Yooper” bitchell retweeted
God, grant me the bello to accept the things I cannot change, the papoi to change the things I can, and the banana to know the difference
54
8,586
64,988
850,988
meg “Yooper” bitchell retweeted
The Vaping Jedi has died by his own hand in a tragic vape/lightsaber mix up. He was only 48.
14
651
11,165
135,619
meg “Yooper” bitchell retweeted
First base coach talking to a runner: "Ok so stay here until you can go to the next one. If you get to that one try to get to the third one. A colleague of mine is waiting there for you"
33
985
23,009
401,396
meg “Yooper” bitchell retweeted
Drake in 2049 after a woman named Poodie Milk goes viral: 62 years young but i still smile, plus I got Poodie Milk on speed dial
17
1,155
19,020
234,258
Bro do not ever date a spontaneous man 🤣🤣🤣 you are going to spend the right of your life waiting for him to surprise you and walk through your door unannounced like he used to 🤣🤣🤣 and it’s never going to happen again 🤣🤣🤣
8
5
1,067
38,913
meg “Yooper” bitchell retweeted
As a woman you have to choose between having an anvil fall on your head or running into a hyperrealistic painting of a tunnel
As a woman you have to choose between being skinny and looking good in clothes, or having a little extra fat and looking good naked
10
687
10,850
89,787
Can long can a girl host a dating show while being unsuccessful at dating until she goes fucking insane
22
3
1,523
49,879
meg “Yooper” bitchell retweeted
They mistook my kindness for weakness
I fucked up i know that but jesus
Can't a girl just do the best she can
21
1,198
9,581
147,731
