''alarmingly normal once you get to know her'' 🔞 an actual princess. not here to make friends any pronouns

if i every annoy you on here you can always "own" me by reminding me to work on my thesis
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it should be illegal to make films where cats die
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BBC editor trying so hard to avoid American English that they hypercorrected into a novel spelling
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The Platonist: now surely you admit that it is just for the best flautist to receive compensation for his talents Batman: very true The Platonist: then we must consider a man whose talents lie in robbing banks Robin: Batman don't listen to him!!
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today we tried ordering an impossible whopper from burger king. the automated kiosk shut down. we tried ordering at the front till and the till shut down too. aptly named!
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guy behind the counter got on the phone with an IT contractor(?) and meanwhile asked us to try the drive-thru. no dice.
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when i ask 3yo not to say “shut up” he says “well the shut up man is coming tomorrow and going to say shut up to you”. kind of difficult to respond to that. if i ask who the shut up man is, he says “oh you don’t know???” and laughs at me. feels like bullying
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Middle English had a slur for people who had a cold
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truffle pig: youre a fun guy mushroom bane: for you
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i have bangs now btw
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why does nobody ever talk about how absurd bactrian camels look
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the noble dromedary, mighty steed of the desert
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the ridiculous bactrian, the jester of the camelid family
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All the worms at the park start slithering towards me at the same time. I shake my head. They stop. I'm on a first date, and she's not ready to know about that part of my life yet.
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if you have material interests, you shouldn't get to vote because you'd be a single-issue voter on maintaining and increasing your material interests, plus voting for any party that promises to do this. only the ghost council of orzhova is fit to rule
If you receive welfare, you shouldn’t get to vote because you'd be a single-issue voter on maintaining and increasing your welfare, plus voting for any party that promises to do this.
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things are heating up in the sheep community
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This one is relevant
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did you know the IRS hasn't actually measured tax evasion in over a decade? due to lack of budget and workforce, the IRS is incapable of performing the random audits necessary to estimate tax evasion they've been forced to reuse the same numbers from 2016
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Replying to @NLRG_it
I think we should invent Girls Sports and then make boys play them. Like Flower Fencing, and Drestling (wrestling in a big poofy dress).
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i hate every card i spy from +2 mace to zombify no ill never play a draft on friday nights
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aurora borealis? at this time of year? in this part of the country? localized entirely within your kitchen?
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Replying to @NLRG_it
Why would I have said steamed clams? What would I have to gain from that?
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America's worst nightmare: Fourida.
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