Yeahh so you aren't alone alright?
For years my friends and I have slowly established that I am not a reliable narrator because most times what is/was a core memory for the squad, I only remember in bits, in passing, not at all or until I see a physical evidence of said event like videos, pictures, writings, reciepts etc.
Basically I can function as a super computer but with little to minimal storage unit left 💀 and now my brain "auto" filters out information not "deemed" neccessary which is annoying because how does it know or decides this? I can't tell, I'll read up more on that, but yeah now to oversharing 🧍♂️.
Firstly I am on the spectrum; AUDHD, Aspergers Syndrome with type C Adhd (Opor mehn lmfaooo 💀) and sadly I have been exposed to a lot of trauma from childhood and so dissociating has been my coping mechanism dealing with pain and trauma
For context, I "InTenTiOnallY" dissociated for two years when I lost a mother figure to deal with grief (stage one- Denial) and I literally told my baby brother today that he has to tell me about what happened last year while I was hospitalized and under the waters because my friends told me I was always laughing about something (inside joke 🧍♂️) when they called or something and I can't even remember what was funny then to me 😂✋🏼(cope).
Our brains also do this for us subconsciously to protect us (Joy from Pixar's Inside Out - watch this again)
So perhaps you are on the spectrum and perhaps a couple of contributing factors like doomscrolling, food quality, health and family history predisposition, anxiety, lack of sleep (suffer from this too 💀) etc could be your own reason.
A lot more people suffer from this than they realize.
I have finally decided to get clinical help with this because I was touring Asia last month and if you ask me about the trip now (ololololo 😂💀). And this was when I knew the pressure is getting werserrr💀✋🏼.
Any ways, there is hope and food and supplements and actual mental exercises that can reduce the deterioration of these events but firstly, acknowledging it is the first step🧍♂️.
So for now I can only advice an active uptake in documentation; pictures, videos, tweets, journals, voicenotes, video messages, notion, icloud uploads, scrapbooks, vlogs, youtube but not like doing it for others but for yourself on days when you don't remember. Also ask your friends and love ones to document you and store them.
Appeal-heal your inner child and try to unlock your whimsy, travel - explore and go down memory lane, crave new things to stretch your neuroplasticity limits, interact with old things you used to love before the world gave you a screen to look at and deadlines to chase and capitalism to dance with.
Create slow mornings, take walks to reflect, journal and try to rewire your own brain chemistry.
Get clinical help if you can afford it and use supplements to assist with brain fogs, get therapy as well because while mental health issues are invisible, a continuous non acknowledgment of them stores up in the body - brain and shows up in ways you won't believe and now everyone can see your skeletons from 20years ago 💀.
So take active steps to reclaim your memory, read more about it.
You can also follow
@dodoo_darling , just last week she told me black coffee helps, I don't like coffee but I guess I will have coffee now rather than caprisonnes (fall to my knees 😂)
So yeeahhhh, that's enough oversharing for today
Arigato goziamusu.
Do your research
Be good
☘️
Do you guys ever feel like you can’t rely on your own memory/recollection of events?