Today is International Black Sea Day, and to mark the occasion, my fellow villagers and I spent the entire afternoon cleaning the seashore. It turns out that humanity possesses inexhaustible ingenuity when it comes to producing objects which, after use, it prefers to entrust to nature, evidently convinced that nature has an unlimited workforce available for their disposal.
A little-known detail is that International Black Sea Day is observed on 31 October because of the Strategic Action Plan for its protection, signed in Istanbul in 1996, when the six Black Sea countries agreed that the sea required joint efforts.
There is also something almost unbelievable about the Black Sea itself: its deep waters are devoid of free oxygen and contain hydrogen sulphide, making ordinary marine life impossible below a certain depth. Nature has created an extraordinary chemical system, which humanity persistently attempts to supplement with plastic bottles, packaging, and all manner of other evidence of its own technological development.
And so today, our little village celebrated international cooperation in the most immediate way possible: with gloves, rubbish bags, and a considerable amount of entirely justified indignation.
But the real adventure began on my way home.
Because today is also Halloween, the eve of All Saints' Day, and if we return to ancient Rome, we discover that relations between the living and the dead had long been the subject of serious ritual organisation. During Lemuria, celebrated in May, the Romans drove away restless spirits by throwing black beans over their shoulders nine times without looking back. They also had Feralia in February, when they honoured the dead. These were not direct historical predecessors of Halloween, but they demonstrate that humanity has long experienced administrative difficulties with the afterlife.
And there I was, walking home, when I encountered three witches, four skeletons, two ghosts, and Death herself.
We passed one another suspiciously. I examined them, they examined me, and I was particularly disturbed by Death, who appeared exceptionally well informed about local addresses.
“Trick or treat?” they asked.
I explained that I had four bags of rubbish collected from the seashore and twenty euros in my pocket, and that they were free to choose between environmental education and immediate financial satisfaction.
After brief negotiations, conducted considerably more efficiently than certain international conferences, the delegation chose the twenty euros.
In return, the three witches promised not to turn me into a frog, the skeletons guaranteed that they would not rattle their bones beneath my windows, the ghosts undertook not to appear in my library, and Death, after some deliberation, graciously agreed to postpone our professional relations indefinitely.
I accepted the last promise with particular satisfaction, although I suspect it has very little contractual value.
I also suggested, incidentally, that they participate in next year's beach clean-up. Three witches equipped with broomsticks represent considerable organisational potential, four skeletons would hardly complain of back pain, and the ghosts could collect rubbish from places inaccessible to the other volunteers.
Death declined to make any commitment, citing her busy schedule.
I arrived home twenty euros poorer, with four bags of rubbish behind me and in an unusually good mood, because after an entire afternoon devoted to protecting the Black Sea, I had also managed to negotiate a temporary truce with the afterlife.
The only thing that troubles me is that if the Romans managed to drive away spirits with nine black beans, I have evidently paid a considerable premium.
But what can one do? Two millennia of inflation, and besides, Death is hardly likely to entertain objections to her pricing policy. :) 🎃
Calm evening