Making fun of middle management in colleges and universities. Because you can never have too many associate deans conspiring to be THE dean.
Inside an Ivory Tower
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We need to find a new director of our Center for the Study of Constitutional Democracy. No one has been able to make it work, the directors takeover, immediately get power hungry, and ignore the bylaws.
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We are not “surrendering to AI.” We are integrating and adopting technological innovations in order to optimize our synergies in a dynamic environment of superintellgent evolution.
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We’ve got a small problem. The State Regents have a new binary gender policy, and they’ve asked you to not drive your classic 1977 Trans Am to campus. It has that word on it.
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A business degree is social science marked up 60% with a BMW badge on it. Don’t tell anyone! It means more money for the University!
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As the college of liberal arts is absorbed into the Division of General Studies, I am retiring and publishing my professional memoir, “The End of History and the Last Dean.”
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Thank you again for your recent town hall question in the form of an extended aria to your recent substack.
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Of course your comments helped in our meeting. They made some future decisions abundantly clear. We now know what don’t want to do.
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There’s a reason we don’t let philosophers speak to central administration or donors.
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All faculty advertisements must include the line “A proven ability and willingness to be micromanaged is especially preferred in successful candidates.”
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Remember all those things the dean promised you? The provost said no. To everything.
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I understand that you can’t make my meeting with the Provost, but that’s okay; you weren’t invited.
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I know you want to evacuate for the hurricane, but first come help the students load their cars for the Isaias Big Blowout Moveout Party!
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There’s a movie shooting on campus. Try to stay out of the way of the filming — we are cultivating a brand here, and they’re the cheapest PR we’ve ever had!
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It wasn’t a problem before I made it a problem. That is why I am the only person who can fix it.
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Of course, we are going to deny your request. Before we can do that, we need you to fill out the request correctly in a newly revised form and format. Then we can reject it!
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