TikTok anthropologist, midwesterner-in-exile, dark statistician, vegan, ex @Kroger. There is a secret garden in the middle of America
SF, CA ✈️ NY, NY ✈️ Peoria, IL
- Tweets 64,856
- Following 3,458
- Followers 286,913
- Likes 248,351
Who else can't wait for Republicans to win the midterms for the $5000 trumpbucks to hire a sex worker to lose your virginity
2
4
210
4,726
I'm 29 years old today. My first book, titled First Kiss, will come out within a few months, when I'm ready
102
12
824
21,964
I get grossed out to an unbelievable degree when someone says "I like to write but I don't like to read". The same as saying "I like to talk but not to listen". You are a bad person if you think you like to write but not read
15
22
501
11,969
Boys in DC assume they're getting honeypotted the second a woman talks to them.
-First of all she was just being polite.
-And are you even important enough to get honeypotted?? Don't flatter yourself.
2
112
9,026
cold 🥑 retweeted
When the gate number is A24 you know the plane is about to take you somewhere very strange.
4
5
356
19,574
Listening to cum town as a 19yo today is like a college kid in 2008 who's really into Nirvana
32
209
7,553
142,471
I want a documentary about Mr Beast's average week. In Dubai at the world's largest trampoline park, in Africa building a village, and in North Carolina checking in on a man he has locked in a 20ft x 20ft torture cube
I'd like to see a documentary about Nathan Fielder focused on the period where he was simultaneously making a film about Elizabeth Holmes AND learning how to fly a 747 AND making THE CURSE.
4
2
212
8,791
I was walking past this building in San Francisco with basketball courts on the roof and I was like woah that's just like the scene from The Princess Diaries and then I looked it up and it was
11
17
1,631
34,538
I tried to tell them about the night; they didn't understand. I tried to tell them that there's beauty and there's magic in the air. They didn't understand
3
9
152
6,459
Ai-generated pepes and wojaks just don't hit the same. There was something noble about pre-ai pepes, knowing someone had opened Microsoft Paint and sketched out their vision. The ai ones have no soul, no skin in the game
11
8
292
11,316
cold 🥑 retweeted
I’m America A because I eat at the Bryant Park chipotle, but if you eat at the Fort Worth chipotle you’re America B
2
120
4,327
