BOOK REVIEW: Will and Attention, Meghan O'Gieblyn author of God, Human, Animal Machine
I loved this book. O'Gieblyn writes with an addictive mix of clarity, rigor, literary references, and self-implicating honesty. I tore through it in a few days.
The book deals with her relapse into alcoholism, how the stories we tell about ourselves can both save us and, when they go stale, ruin us, whether we change from the outside in or the inside out, and how and whether we can trust our own desires.
Underneath it's a story about pragmatism. Her initial recovery from alcoholism rested on a pragmatic philosophy: she treated the core tenets of sobriety—faith as "something you do" surrendering her will to a Higher Power that would keep her safe, and even the resolution not to drink—not as capital T truths, but truths she adopted because they worked.
The problem she found is, for one, this creates a gap between your underlying desires and beliefs and your behavior. One that you hope will close eventually, but if it doesn’t can leave you feeling hollowed out and can keep your actual desires and beliefs unexamined. The other problem, of course, is once you start asking whether sobriety is “useful”, you open yourself to another version of the truth: That it might not be.
One of the things I found so striking about this book is how honest she is, without glorifying drinking, about what alcohol gives to alcoholics. For her, it can bring the kind of unification of self that mystics and yogis seek in God and meditation. So at that point, it is easy for the alcoholic to ask, fairly, why alcohol is not “useful”?
It should be clear that even if you’re not an alcoholic these are the kinds of mental gymnastics all of us do to justify and rationalize any number of behaviors or beliefs.
As an admirer of pragmatism I found this to be quite an interesting and mind-expanding line of questioning.
But I also found it interesting that, as far as I can tell, her turn away from pragmatism—away from truths held to because they “worked,” and back toward a vision of truth and goodness as inviolable and untouchable by experience—ultimately seems to rest on pragmatic grounds. Getting sober again, having faith, and treating the resolution not to drink as an unconditional taboo all, in the broadest sense possible, rest on what they do for her: they keep her desires from talking her back into ruin.