A new price. The same depth of data—now $365 a year. That’s $1/day for more hikes, more hugs, and to unlock more healthy years. functionhealth.com

You don’t play at an elite level at 40 by guessing about your health. @CP3 uses data to understand what his body is telling him. Function members have access to 160+ lab tests. Know your numbers. Not medical advice. Consult a medical professional with any medical questions. For marketing purposes only.

They finished knowing more about their bodies than ever before. Looking forward to 100 healthy years of Sara and Tré.

This morning when I woke up, I thought it was 7:30am, so when I took off my eye mask, I was surprised to find it was only 4:30am. But I felt awake. Not only that, I felt ENERGIZED. I have not felt anything upon waking other than utter exhaustion for at least a decade, but probably more like 16 years. Last week, I did Function Health Labs, which are super comprehensive. I started getting results back Saturday, fed them to a private AI, and it was freaking out about how I have no energy. YOU GUYS -- I'm a carnivore and I am ANEMIC. I have eaten red meat 🥩🥩🥩 for 99.99% of my meals for the last two and a half years, and I'm ANEMIC -- wth ferritin stores above 240! (This is so high, it was marked as dangerously high on Function Health.) It diagnosed me with anemia of chronic inflammation, which I hadn't heard of before, but it explained to me a question I had meant to ask a doctor -- why one iron marker was low when another was high and I was eating so much red meat -- but that doctor missed it because she preferred to spend our appointment time lecturing me about how I needed to eat greens even though I told her that eating this way was making me feel BETTER 🙄. (Pro tip if you're a doctor: if a patient who has been incredibly sick for over a decade tells you something they are doing is making them feel better, BE A HUMAN AND BE EXCITED FOR THEM and don't be a fucking idiot and tell them to go back to eating the way that made them feel worse.) I spent all weekend talking with the AI about my lab results, and it told me which supplements to take, including a few I already had on hand that it said would help. The main one it said I needed I had to order, and it will arrive next week, so I haven't even been able to take the most important one yet. DESPITE THAT, just taking the one I had lying around for the last seven days allowed me to FEEL ENERGY UPON WAKING!!!! Is this what it feels like to be a normal human?!?!?! Feeling energy upon waking made me want to cry. I feel so gypped!!!! I can't believe I'm only 7 days into what I need to do to get over this, and I am not exhausted and fighting to get through the day 😭 If I weren't so fucking excited, I think I'd be crying, but seriously, WTF. Western medical doctors and the healthcare system are so fucked. Yay for comprehensive labs and AI!!!

As someone who loves brands and people and the way they coexist, I always read the comments— on every platform. This week, under Lena Dunham’s Girls announcement on @hbomax IG, the comment that stuck with me most was from @function: “We’re all here next summer.” Brand awareness can take a lot of forms. One of them can be human. When my Function app loads and it says “long live Jamie,” I know they really mean it.

Just had my blood drawn before I spend a year without screens — with @function (partner) Doctors expect brain scans and cognitive tests to change a lot But whether hormones like testosterone will change a lot, there's some disagreement All the data will be public: monthly blood draws covering 100+ biomarkers, brain scans, sleep data, etc. It starts in 17 days

4 snacks @TheRue always has on hand for her health: 1️⃣ Walnuts — They support brain health and libido. 2️⃣ Pumpkin seeds — A solid source of zinc, which plays a role in hormone regulation. 3️⃣ Cucumbers — An easy way to sneak veggies into her and her daughter’s day. 4️⃣ World’s Smartest Smoothie — Ingredients curated by Mark Hyman, M.D., and Function. These are the staples she keeps stocked for her and her family's health.

Function is #7 on @LinkedIn’s Top U.S. Startups of 2026. This recognition reflects our team’s work to make health more accessible, understandable, and actionable. Every day, we’re building toward a future where 8 billion people can live 100 healthy years. To our members: Thank you for trusting us with your health. You’re the reason we keep moving forward. The work is already underway. #LinkedInTopStartups lnkd.in/USTopStartups26

📈 By the time Creatinine rises, filtration may have already been slowing for a while—which is why tracking it over time matters. But kidney health isn't captured by a single marker. ⬇️

By 2050, new kidney cancer cases are projected to rise by more than 70%. Here’s what you need to know. 🧵