I don’t think you’d make it, bud.
I’ve been in a war as you can see me here commanding my tank. I can tell you that war is awful and every last person who sounded just like you, stayed home.
Enjoy your protein shakes.
Let’s just do the civil war now instead of waiting.
I’m tired of these protein deficient fairies telling me “we have guns too”
Cool story, let’s fuckin go!