The board of directors panicked after reading an article in Forbes and hired a boutique cybersecurity firm. They paid $80K for a team of external auditors to stress-test our network architecture. A guy named Connor showed up to my office with a customized laptop covered in hacking stickers. He ran a preliminary port scan and immediately found 14 open vulnerabilities on our primary subnet. He barged in and demanded to know why our main firewall was running outdated firmware from 2014. I leaned back in my Herman Miller Aeron chair and smiled like a disappointed father. I told him he had successfully discovered the outer layer of my decentralized honeypot matrix. I explained that we intentionally leave legacy ports open to trap malicious actors in an infinite digital loop. I used the phrase "asymmetrical threat inversion protocol." He stopped typing on his mechanical keyboard and looked deeply confused. I told him that patching those obvious vulnerabilities would immediately signal to international syndicates that we were a high-value target. I said that by maintaining the illusion of baseline incompetence, we achieve absolute digital camouflage. I asked him if his boutique firm didn't understand the fundamental concept of psychological network warfare. He started aggressively backpedaling and nervously closing terminal windows on his screen. He said his scan was just a preliminary assessment and he didn't want to disrupt my advanced architecture. I generously offered to sign off on his security audit if he classified our vulnerabilities as strategic perimeter decoys. He rewrote his 40-page compliance report to praise our innovative approach to threat management. The CEO called me into his office the next day to personally thank me for outsmarting the hackers. I didn't tell him the firewall was unpatched because I forgot the admin password 6 years ago. I haven't logged into the security console since the Obama administration. I billed the company $400 for a catered lunch with Connor. I spent the afternoon watching a documentary about deep-sea fishing while the company felt safer than ever. True security is just aggressive confidence in the face of absolute negligence.

Why is it ‘cancelled’ in the U.K. but ‘canceled’ in the U.S.? Because we gave them that L in 1776.

The great @JonathanPieNews here encapsulates Trump's (and America's) humiliation by Iran like nobody else can.

And Trump signed the surrender instrument … at Versailles. You couldn't have made this fiasco up if you had tried.

- DOGE was a flop - No Tax on Tips/Overtime was pretty much a lie - No $2000 Tariff Dividend Checks - No US Epstein arrests - Grocery Prices have not come down - Obama has more deportations, with less drama - Russia/Ukraine war not over - Drill Baby Drill a flop as drilling is down … What else am I missing ???

Recently, I was asked to promote the Type 1 Diabetes Barbie doll. People can buy and donate them to their local endocrinology and diabetes centers for their patients. My grand-cousin Lauryn died from complications of Type 1 diabetes at the age of 30. I fully support this initiative. breakthrought1d.org/barbie/

Mike Vining is a breath of fresh air He can be on here promoting any number of companies, optics designers, various firearms platforms Nope Type 1 diabetes special edition Barbie dolls The man is a national treasure

BREAKING: Jessica Tarlov leaves Fox speechless after debunking the lies Trump and his regime have been spreading about the murder of Renee Good. She brought receipts.

Transformers have been the primary target of... major subs >330kV in Donetsk over last 2 weeks. There has been no targeting of major subs 220, 330 or 500kV in Kursk, Oryol or Belgorod and their transformers in last 2 weeks!!! Why is this? START DEMANDING 🇺🇦N ACCOUNTABILITY!!!

A handy cheat sheet of all the transformers to help keep russians warm 🔥 Russian Energy Infrastructure - Major Power & Substations, and all their Transformers - google.com/maps/d/viewer?mid…

Maybe you can comment why Ukraine is wasting long range weapons targeting empty, never completed portions of the Oryol TETS? Who's provided @usf_army with strategic information about russia's grid... the corrupt former Min of Energy, then Justice?!?!

What possible interest would the US government have in keeping Epstein’s clients secret? Oh…

Why is this video being censored everywhere? The video where he calls for the DEATH PENALTY for Joe Biden.

I'd like to set a goal to reach at least 50,000$ by the end of the weekend. It's challenging to fundraise right now. But this equipment literally saves lives and millions of dollars worth of equipment I am running a fundraiser to get excavators and a truck to Ukraine and currently it's at 47,000$/120,000$, donation link: donation link: paypal.com/donate?campaign_i… On the video i'm showcasing that we don't just transfer the machine and forget about it, we support our aid throughout it's life. Excavator parts, sprockets, tracks and idlers were sent to 43rd artillery brigade to service the machine that we donated more than a year ago.

I would really appreciate your reposts and likes, they change a lot in my fundraising ⬇️

RT @ItsDeanBlundell: Gavin Newsom reenacting Trump Pressers with actual facts might be the greatest troll job in the history of American po…

HUGE “HISTORIC” EVENT — THURSDAY 11:30AM PACIFIC IN LOS ANGELES!!!  A “BEAUTIFUL RALLY” / PRESS CONFERENCE WITH GAVIN CHRISTOPHER NEWSOM & STRONG DEMS. DEMOCRATS WILL DESTROY GREG ABBOTT’S “TOTALLY RIGGED MAPS.” TREMENDOUS WORK IS BEING DONE.  DONALD TRUMP (THE CRIMINAL PRESIDENT) GET READY FOR THE MOST BEAUTIFUL PAYBACK YOU’VE EVER SEEN!!! COULD BE THE WORST DAY OF YOUR LIFE AS YOUR PRESIDENCY ENDS (DEMS RETAKE CONGRESS!). AMERICA WILL BE LIBERATED — “LIBERATION DAY” MANY ARE CALLING IT!!! THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER! — GCN

A new low for Trump, as the USS Donald Trump takes on a lot of water. His net approval has dropped 17 pt since January to -11 pt now. Underwater on all major issues from immigration (-5 pt) to Epstein (-37 pt). Only presidency with worse ratings at this point? Trump term 1.

🧵 Never assume others know the simple truths that are obvious to you. 🚨 ⚫️ The White House doesn’t know Ukraine’s strengths. ⚫️ Zelenskyy’s team doesn’t know the White House doesn’t know. ⚠️ In that confusion, lives and freedom are lost. Here's what they don't know 🧵⤵️

The U.S. and its allies have not recorded any violations in the use of military aid provided to Ukraine and have noted a high level of oversight, according to the investigative commission. Moreover, they highly appreciated the level of organization and the effectiveness of measures for monitoring the receipt, accounting, and use of the specified aid.